Humor

Humor: Das 9er Eisen und der Frosch

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Das 9er Eisen und der Frosch

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.”
The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, “Wow that’s amazing. You must be a lucky frog,eh?
The frog replies, “Ribbit Lucky frog.”
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole..
“What do you think frog?,” the man asks. “Ribbit 3 wood.”
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,
“OK where to next?” The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas.”
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “OK frog, now what?”
The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.” Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, “What do you think I should bet?”
The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.”
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you.
You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful”….
The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me.” He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.”

The origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on. The one who breaks the chain will have bad luck..
Do not keep this. Do not send money. Just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck. You will see that something good happens to you four MINUTES from now if the chain is not broken..
YOU WILL RECEIVE GOOD LUCK IN FOUR MINUTES.

Humor: Asian Room Service

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Asian Room Service

Be warned, you’re going to find yourself talking “funny” for a while after reading this. It was nominated best email of 1997.
A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and roomservice, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review…..
Room Service: “Morny. Ruin sorbees”
Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service”
RS: “Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??”
Guest: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs”
RS: “Ow July den?”
G: “What??”
RS: “Ow July den?…pry,boy, pooch?”
G: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”
RS: “Ow July dee bayhcem…crease?”
G: “Crisp will be fine”
RS: “Hokay. An San tos?”
G: “What?”
RS: “San tos. July San tos?”
G: “I don’t think so”
RS: “No? Judo one toes??”
G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.”
RS: “Toes! toes!…why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?”
G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”
RS: “We bother?”
G: “No..just put the bother on the side.”
RS: “Wad?”
G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”
RS: “Copy?”
G: “Sorry?”
RS: “Copy…tea…mill?”
G: “Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.”
RS: “One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy….rye??”
G: “Whatever you say”
RS: “Tendjewberrymud”
G : “You’re welcome”